


New Vampire Sam

by waterbird13



Series: Tumblr Fics [86]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Blood, Building Relationship, M/M, Mates, Vampire Sam, complicated relationship with Dean, threat of sexual assault, turned Sam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 19:27:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 7,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7653781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterbird13/pseuds/waterbird13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benny's crew takes in a kid and turns him. The kid refuses to eat, to cooperate, to be in any way useful. Benny asks for his life, to take him under his wing. In the end, he lets Sam go.</p><p>And then, he chases down his mate, and tries to build a new life with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a series from Tumblr. It is still in progress and more pieces will be added as they are written (generally from prompts).
> 
> Warnings: Sam is turned against his will, threatened with all sorts of violence including sexual assault. They are vampires, they drink blood. Sam and Benny are mates, but Sam is unsure and reluctant, although he never rejects Benny and Benny never does anything Sam doesn't want. Dean does appear later, and there is tension there.

Benny eyes the boy. About twenty-two, twenty-three, Benny would guess. Pretty. But then, for the Maker only bothers to turn the young and pretty ones.

He likes his toys, he does. But the trouble is, they break. And then he loses interest, and they’re left with broken, disillusioned, often angry vampires to deal with.

This kid, though…well, he’s a new vampire, not as strong as the Maker, but he has some sort of adrenaline on his side, sheer determination, and some obvious prior fighting skills. He keeps the Maker off of himself long enough for the Maker to lose interest. He doesn’t like real fighters.

Benny assumes his next step will be to kill the kid, but Benny intervenes. He’s never asked for anything, in all these years, except at the very beginning when he asked to go back to his family, which was denied. He figures he’s owed this.

The Maker looks him over, then gives in. Benny doesn’t delude himself into thinking it’s some sort of kindness. More like so he’ll have some sort of leverage over Benny one day.

“Maybe you’ll have better luck,” the older vampire concedes.

So Benny now has a young vampire who is essentially _his,_ something he doesn’t even know how to deal with. He doesn’t even know the man’s name.

“Hey,” he says.

The kid looks up, that long hair flopping into his eyes. He scowls, and Benny supposes, given everything, it’s to be expected.

“’M Benny,” he continues. “The other guy, he’s…done with ya. So, it’s left to me to get ya settled into bein’ a vampire. Teach ya to feed, show ya the ropes.”

The guy bares his teeth. “You gonna fuck me too?”

Benny’s mouth goes dry. There’s no denying the kid is attractive, but it’s not like that. Benny isn’t like the Maker, doesn’t believe things just belong to him, doesn’t take.

“No,” he says, even if it feels incomplete, because if the kid offered, he’d be there. But that’s not what the kid is asking. “That’s not the deal, kid. You’re stuck in this life. Someone might as well show you the ropes. Either send you off or make you useful around here. We can always use another set of hands.”

The kid contemplates that, then nods. “I’m Sam,” he says quietly, almost reluctantly.

Benny grins. “Heya, Sam,” he says. “Nice to have ya aboard. Now, how ‘bout we go an’ get you fed?”

Sam shudders at the thought–they all do at first, but the reaction leaves them quick–but then he nods.

Benny helps him stand. He’s beat to hell, and Benny has to swallow back his anger before he says something out of turn. He may not agree with every choice the Maker makes, but that doesn’t make it his place to argue about it.

“Right, Sam,” he says. “Let’s go get ya settled on in.”


	2. Chapter 2

He gets Sam fed, using the last captive from the raid a few days ago. He’s been stashed in the brig, practically catatonic now. Some new vampires like the thrill of the hunt, crave it, but some need to see what they’re eating as far removed from a typical human as they can get. Benny figures Sam is one of the ladder type.

Sam still looks like he’s going to be sick, like he would refuse if he wasn’t so desperate for blood. As it is, he drains the captive in less than two minutes. New vampire thirst will break anyone down.

Sam watches, muted horror on his face along with lingering flecks of blood, as Benny pitches the sunken body overboard.

“Is there a way…without killing them?” Sam asks.

Benny shrugs. “Sure. But ya won’t get enough An’ then ya leave a human, knowin’ we exist. More trouble than it’s worth.:

Sam looks mutinous. “They have blood banks now,” he says. “You know what those are?”

“I’m not that outta touch with reality,” Benny snorts. “Sure, but it ain’t live blood. Only half as good.”

“Gotta be better than this,” Sam snaps.

“You talk an awful lot for someone lucky to be alive, ya know that?” Benny says.

“That’s the thing, isn’t it?” Sam responds. “I’m not alive, really. Not anymore.”

“You’re not dead, either, so I’d be grateful for that, if I were you.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “Oh, my mistake. Be grateful for having my life taken away. Be grateful to be considered someone’s property, their vampire pet. You expect gratitude in the same way your boss does?”

Benny recoils. “Jesus, kid,” he mumbles. The kid doesn’t pull any punches. Then, louder, he says, “No. Not like that. Just gonna give you a life. That ain’t so bad, kid. It ain’t a terrible life.”

Sam looks over the side, his now keen vampire vision picking up the body floating away, and he raises an eyebrow. “Color me unconvinced,” he says.

Benny sighs. Sam will adapt. It will just take time. “We should show ya the ropes ‘round here,” Benny says. “Get ya a job, get ya settled in.”

“I want off,” Sam says abruptly.

Benny sucks in a breath. “Boss ain’t gonna like that,” he says.

Sam stares at him, eyes accusing. “You said…”

Benny did say. He just didn’t expect Sam to want. New vampires always want to stay with the next. “It’s just, you’re…” he trails off, unable to finish,

Sam doesn’t hesitate. “Property,” he says.

It’s true, in its way, no matter how harsh it is. “If ya want off, I’ll get ya off. Gotta give me a bit of time, though.”

Sam gives him a hard, judging look, then nods. “Okay.”

Benny exhales, relaxing infinitesimally at Sam’s nod. “Okay, then.”

He’ll get the kid away, give him a chance, although he doesn’t know how much of a chance it will be.

He tries not to think of how much he’s going to miss the kid. It’s been less than a day, just a few hours since he’s learned Sam’s name, but he still doesn’t want to let him go.

But he’s going to, because Sam wants it. 


	3. Chapter 3

Benny keeps his word to Sam. Frankly, he doesn’t know how to do anything else. He knows how the Maker breaks reluctant new members of the nest, depriving them of blood until they’re mindless with need willing to concede to any demand in order to get their fill. It wouldn’t be impossible. He could make Sam stay.

But he won’t. Instead, he spends a week waiting for a raid. They spot a boat and everyone gets ready to board, to steal, to feast. Benny plays his part and helps take the ship. When it’s over, and everyone is sucking down blood, laying satiated, and counting their wealth, Benny sneaks Sam off the back.

“You’ll have to swim,” he says. “But we ain’t far from shore.”

Sam blinks at him, confused. Benny manages a half-grin. “Ya didn’t doubt I’d keep my promise?” he says. “’Cause here I am, kiddo. Deliverin’. Your way out.”

Sam doesn’t immediately take it, hesitating. “Don’ tell me you changed your mind?” Benny says, although that is his very hope. There is no harm if he has, and Benny isn’t out anything. If he stays, then Benny won’t have disobeyed the Maker, won’t have lost Sam. Like can continue.

Sam shakes his head, though, dashing Benny’s hopes. “I’m going,” he says. “Anywhere but here. But…won’t he…what’s going to happen to you?”

Benny shrugs. Probably nothing. He’s going to try to play it off that he, like all the others, was distracted and Sam snuck off. He’ll be on a shit-list for a while, most likely, losing something the Maker gave to him, no matter how worthless the Maker had deemed it first. But it wouldn’t be the end of the world.

Sam stares at him for a moment, then says, “come with me.”

Benny must have misheard. “Come again?”

Sam glares, apparently well aware that Benny–what with vampire hearing and all–heard him just fine. “Come with me. C’mon. Leave this. The killing and the robbing. We’ll find something better.”

Benny shifts his weight around, foot to foot. “This is my life. My family.”

“That’s your boss,” Sam says. “Your _master_.”

Well. Benny can’t help but flinch a little at that. It’s not true, really, except it is in some sense. He obeys orders. He doesn’t leave. He asks for his meals, his money. For Sam.

He sighs. Nest is home. He can’t help it if Sam is a defective vampire and can’t feel it right. He’s not. He can’t leave the nest.

“You’re gonna lose your chance, if ya don’t go now,” he says.

Sam looks at him a moment longer, then shakes his head. Benny thinks he even looks sad.

Then, just like that, Sam turns away and slips over the side, landing quietly in the water. He doesn’t even say goodbye.


	4. Chapter 4

Life goes on. Benny was right in what he told Sam, he’s on a shit-list for a while. Last pick of what he wants from a score, less access to good blood, eyes watching him. But no one seems to suspect that he actually let Sam go, and life goes on, things eventually evening out.

Except he can’t forget the kid. The defective vampire who didn’t feel nest, who left them, who always tore right through Benny. Benny can’t get him out of his mind.

He tries. He buries himself in the ship and the job and the nest and in blood. But he always comes back around to Sam, to where the kid is now, to how he’s doing, if he’s even surviving. The kid barely had vampire instincts, but Benny hopes fervently that they kick in, keep him from starving to death.

Overall, he spends more time thinking about the kid than the blood, than the job, than the nest, even. And it starts to show. Even the Maker notices.

If there’s one thing Benny knows, it’s that you don’t want the Maker’s attention. You especially don’t want it for slacking off, for being distant and weird and in any way disrupting his nest. They were cogs in the machine, the machine the Maker had built. It was his job to remove bad cogs, and Benny had no desire to be a bad cog.

“Fucking Christ, Lafitte,” one of the others complains quietly one day, when they’re down below, where hopefully no one will hear them. “You look like you’re fucking moonin’ over your goddamn mate or something. But ya aren’t right?” He looks nervous for a moment. “Unless you’re after one of us, in which case–”

“No,” Benny interrupts, gritting his teeth, because even if it were safe or acceptable to _want_  one of them, Benny wouldn’t touch them with a ten foot pole. They’re nest, sure, but they’re nothing else. 

It sounds like Sam’s voice in his head, saying _gross, slimy, blood-hungry, money-grubbing vampires._  Benny shakes his head to clear the thought.

 _Mate_. The word sticks in his brain. Christ, is that’s what’s distracting him? _Mate_? He’s known other vampires to find theirs, the other vampire that somehow sticks to you, connected in some incomprehensible, indisputable way forevermore. He’s just never thought–

But where the hell did he find his? It’s no one in the nest, he knows that. His disgust is palpable, and, besides that, he’s known them a few decades now. Maybe a human they ran across, but then, he doesn’t think vampires can mate with humans–the Maker would certainly say they can’t. And they would be dead by now, anyways. There haven’t been any other vampires.

 _Sam_.

Benny sucks in a breath, bowled over. It’s Sam. The stupid, dysfunctional vampire kid, the one he let go, the one he couldn’t get out of his head.

“Well, then, what the hell is wrong with ya?” the vampire asks him.

Benny looks him over. He’s known Hank for fifteen years. They’ve killed together, worked together, for all that time. But he realizes then, he doesn’t give a fuck about the guy. About any of this. “None of your damn business,” he snarls. Which is probably not the best idea, in hindsight, because for the rest of the day, he notices eyes on him. 

That very night, he starts thinking about how he’s going to get out of here.

How he’s going to find Sam, if the kid feels the same way as he does, how he’ll convince Sam that _this_  vampire instinct is worth listening to. How they’ll live, what they’ll eat. 

But first, he has to get off this ship.


	5. Chapter 5

When Benny gets off the boat, he puts some distance between himself and the others, first and foremost. If they find him, they may very well tear him to pieces.

Then he starts looking for Sam.

His first fear is that the kid was stupid enough to home home, back to wherever he came from, before the Maker got to him. So he treks backwards, trying to find the town from memory.

He finds it, searches every inch by sight and smell. Sam’s not here, thank God.

So he moves on, realizing with a jolt he sent the kid away, let him go, and he could be anywhere in the country. In the world, really.

 _Blood banks._ Sam talked about getting his blood from blood banks. Which means he needs to be near one.

Which is all well and good, but there are a million of those. It doesn’t narrow down his search that much.

Still, he’s going to live forever. He has time to look.

So he sets off, finding blood banks and spiraling out around them, searching for a hint of long brown hair, or, more likely, the addictive scent he can’t get out of his head. It’s slow going with little payout, but he won’t give up. Sam’s worth it.

 _Mate_. He thinks about it as he travels. Sam is his mate. Benny doesn’t even know what that means, outside of his desperate need to find Sam, outside of the kill for each other, die for each other attitude he’s seen some other vampires display. He supposes he’ll find out, just as soon as he finds Sam.

He burns time, thinking about it. Will they get a house together? Some little cottage, white picket fence? Will they travel? Will they somehow find a new nest, or form their own? Is Sam going to change him?

He doesn’t know, can only guess. A house doesn’t sound so bad. Maybe a job, he thinks. Like a human. It’s been a long time since he could say that. Just the two of them, or the nest they build. Children are out of the question, but maybe–well, maybe Sam wants a family. Maybe they’ll build something.

Maybe they could see the world together. Take summers off from their human jobs, explore. Benny’s been to Louisiana, up and down the Mississippi, into the Gulf, and over into Mexico a few times. He’s never seen California, or Paris, or China. That might be nice.

And as for Sam changing him–maybe blood bags won’t be too bad. He’s been using them since he started his search, crippling guilt hitting him whenever he tried to grab a meal any other way. It always sounded like Sam, like disappointment. Benny let his prey go, and started seeing what Sam was talking about. It’s not excellent, but for Sam…he can do it.

It all comes down to Sam, in the end. Benny’s made his choice, but he doubts Sam knows he even has a choice to make.

Benny tries not to worry over whether or not Sam feels the mating bond. The kid hadn’t been much, in the way of a vampire. His instincts for their kind hadn’t gone very far. If he couldn’t feel Nest, who was to say he could feel Mate?

Then again, he’d asked Benny to come with him. That has to count for something.

Benny supposes he won’t know until he finds him.

Which happens one day, at a blood bank in Tulsa. The smell hits him right away, sweet and pervasive, flooding the entire space, drawing Benny in. Then he sees the height, the hair, the beautiful, broad shoulders.

“Sam…” he says, walking closer.

Sam turns.


	6. Chapter 6

Sam turns around, jaw dropping.

He moves pretty fast, tugging Benny from the main hallway and into a dark corner, one hand fisted in Benny’s shirt.

“You following me?” he demands, fangs dropping, and that shouldn’t make Benny’s dead heart leap, shouldn’t make his artificial pulse feel like it’s soaring, but it does. Damn. “You coming after me now?”

“No,” Benny protests. “Nothin’ like that. Been lookin’ for ya, kid.”

Sam’s nostrils flare, but his fangs retract slightly. “You found me. How?”

Benny shrugs. “Searched everywhere. Took me the better part of a year. But here ya are.”

“Why?” Sam asks, and that was clearly the question he wanted answered all along. “Why’re you here?”

“For you,” Benny says. “Haven’t been able to get ya outta my head.”

Sam tilts his head, considering. “Is there a reason for that?” he asks, voice cautious, curious.

“’Sides your charming personality?” Benny snarks.

Sam flushes and ducks his head. Benny feels bad, sure his mate’s personality is great, when he’s not being kidnapped and held hostage by vampires, forced to adapt to a new life. Hell, it was pretty great, even then.

He sighs. “Just…ya invited me along.”

“That’s it?” Sam asks. “You decided to come along a _year_  after I gave the invite?”

“Is it bad now?” Benny asks.

Sam shrugs. “Maybe. If you don’t start talking.”

Benny freezes for half a moment, debating. But, in the end, honesty is the best policy. He won’t jerk Sam around, won’t lie to him, won’t be the cause of any distrust between them.

“Ya know what mates are?” he asks.

“Australian friends?” Sam asks.

Benny shakes his head. “Vampire mates, Sam.” Sam just looks at him. “Mates. Ya know…couple. Pair. For life.”

Sam blinks at him. “And that has what to do with us?” he asks, although Benny is sure he has his suspicions.

“You’re mine,” Benny says. “Can’t get ya outta my head, can’t focus on anythin’ but you when we’re apart like that. Can’t forget how you smell. You’re my mate.”

This is the moment of truth, of finding out whether or not these feelings register with Sam, or if Sam doesn’t feel anything at all. He’s never heard of a vampire mating going only one way, but he supposes there could be a first time for everything.

And then Sam says, “oh,” in a stunned little voice, and Benny’s dead heart soars. Sam knows the feeling. Things are falling into place for Sam.

“Ya know what I’m talkin’ ‘bout, Sam?” he asks.

Sam opens his mouth, then closes it. He looks around, and seems to realize that they’re still inside a blood bank.

“Let’s get out of here,” he says abruptly.

It’s not an answer, but it may as well be. Benny eagerly follows Sam out.


	7. Chapter 7

It turns out that Sam has a room at a local inn, a cheap place with a bed that looks moments from falling apart and little bugs that Benny can hear scurrying away. He leads Benny inside, then sits down on the only chair, facing the vampire. “Talk,” he says.

Benny, for lack of other options, leans against the wall. “Don’t know what to say,” he says. “I told ya. You’re my mate.”

“And you happened to figure this out over the _year_  we haven’t side hide nor hair of each other,” Sam says skeptically.

Benny shrugs. “Gimme a break, Sam. Wasn’t expecting to meet my mate in the stubborn new kid vampire. Just thought ya were kinda attractive. When I couldn’t get ya off my mind, couldn’t think ‘bout anythin’ else…I figured it out.” He pauses for a moment. “D’ya feel it too, Sam?” he asks. Sam had subtly confirmed it earlier, but Benny needs to hear it. He doesn’t like thinking about Sam like this, won’t use the word _defective_  even if it was what he used in the beginning, but Sam isn’t like other vampires. Maybe he doesn’t feel the mating bond.

Sam shrinks down a bit. “I almost went back and looked for you a few times,” he admits quietly. “I know the boat would’ve moved on, but…well. It wasn’t a mistake to leave, but it felt _wrong,_ to leave you behind.”

Benny nods, reassured. “That’s the bond,” he says. “Ya feel it too.”

Sam raises an eyebrow. “Did you think I wouldn’t?”

Benny shrugs. “Ya didn’t feel Nest. How was I to know what you can feel?”

Sam nods, apparently considering it. “I might’ve felt Nest if there was anything to feel,” he says. “But that wasn’t… _nest_ ,” he says, like the word tastes funny. “It was prison, Benny.”

Benny’s never been able to see the difference. Nest was Nest, no matter the circumstances around it. But he understands what Sam means.

“And now?” he asks.

Sam shrugs. “I’ve been on my own for a year,” he points out. 

“What if ya didn’t have to be?” Benny asks.

Sam pauses for just a moment. “What are you offering?” he asks in turn.

Benny feels his breath catch. “Everythin’,” he says lowly. “Anythin’. Whatever you’ll take, Sam.”

Sam’s breath seems to fail him too, just then, and Benny spares a moment to think that at least he’s not alone. “What if I want…I don’t know how vampire mates work,” he says, eyes avoiding Benny.

Benny moves across the room in quick steps, and ends on his knees beside Sam’s chair. “I can show ya,” he promises. “An’ the rest, we’ll figure out together.”

Sam takes a deep, shuddering breath, then nods. “O-okay,” he agrees.


	8. Chapter 8

Kissing Sam is like heaven.

Benny had imagined it many times, dozens of nights where he caved to his bodies demands and stopped for sleep, drifting between waking and slumber, thinking of those pink lips he remembered so vividly. 

Sam, in reality, makes his dreams pale in comparison.

Vampires are monsters, and monsters don’t get the heaven they were taught about in Sunday school, back in the day. Instead, they get mates, their little pieces of heaven on earth. An old vampire had told Benny that once, and Benny thought he was half insane, but he gets it now. This, right here, is his heaven.

He brings one hand up, wanting to touch that silky hair, wanting to find out if it’s as soft as it looks. Just when he touches one fine strand, Sam pulls away.

“We should get a new room,” he says.

Benny looks around and concedes the point. The bed is only a double, and while getting up close and personal with Sam is more than welcome to him, that bed simply won’t fit them both long-term.

“Alright,” he agrees, wishing they could have finished kissing, but willing to listen to Sam. “Ya need to pack your stuff?”

Sam gestures to an already packed and zipped bag–apparently he doesn’t make himself at home much–and moves to pick it up. Benny frowns, wanting Sam back, wanting him _close_ , but he sighs and follows Sam out the door.

He follows Sam into the manager’s little office, then listens to Sam order two queen beds. His mouth falls open a bit. _Two_  beds? What’s with that?

Then again, they’re in Oklahoma, of all places. Being two guys getting a motel room together anywhere can be dangerous, but down here, it can be downright suicidal. They can take any pissed off humans, but Benny remembers how much Sam hates the killing.

It’s just a defense mechanism. Which is an excuse that works right up until Sam dumps his bag at the foot of one bed, and looks at the other one. “Was gonna tell you to put your stuff there,” he says, gesturing to the little stool-like object at the end, “but I guess you don’t have anything. We’ll get you some stuff, if you’re really intent on sticking around.”

Sam’s treating this like it’s _his_  bed, like they’re sleeping separately, and Benny just gapes. Sam rolls his eyes.

“Benny,” he says firmly. “Your bossman there grabbed me, turned me into a vampire against my will, kept me captive with the intent of turning me basically into a sex slave, and then gave me to you as a gift when I didn’t cooperate. You’ll forgive me if I’m not ready to jump into bed with a vampire. Or anyone, really,” he amends. “Your boss might not have…well, it still stuck with me, and I need _time,_ okay? If you can’t handle that, you know where the door is.”

Benny’s need for his mate, his long search, is begging to be concluded with sex, and biting and touching, and holding each other through the night. But his need to take care of his mate, to make this relationship work, to start out right, is saying _whatever Sam needs_.

He nods. “I can do that,” he says. “I can wait.”

Sam nods back. “Good,” he says. “I’m going to get ready for bed.”

This is a process that apparently involves him stripping down to underwear and a t-shirt, then brushing his teeth, something Benny’s never seen a vampire do but he finds endearing here nonetheless. When Sam comes over to bed, he leans in close and gives Benny a gentle, chaste kiss.

“Tomorrow,” he says quietly, “we’ll talk about this. For now, I need some sleep.”

Benny nods, voice lost as he watches Sam climb into bed, then pull the blankets up so they’re pooling around his stomach. He sleeps facing Benny’s bed.

Benny pulls off his own clothes, then climbs into his bed, looking over at Sam. No longer does he have to imagine being near his mate. Now, Sam is right here, and Benny can look at him all night long.

And it’s pretty damn perfect, all told. Benny wouldn’t trade this, watching Sam slide gently into sleep, listening to his even breathing, for the world.


	9. Chapter 9

Benny wakes up to find Sam already awake, rustling through his bag. He turns when he hears Benny sitting up.

Benny can’t help but stare. Sam’s still in the clothes he slept in, boxers and a t-shirt, and his shirt has ridden up on one side. Apparently Sam hasn’t bothered to pull it down. It’s…mouthwatering.

Then Sam smiles at him, small and rather shy but still there and practically _blinding,_  and Benny’s attention is entirely captivated in that one small space. “Hey,” Sam says. “You’re awake.”

“Mhm,” Benny agrees. “You too.”

“Yeah,” Sam says, running one hand through his hair. “Look, yesterday, you…kinda interrupted me. Getting blood? And I need some, so…”

Benny nods. Right. Sam drinks only from bags, and he’s fresh out. “We can go grab some,” he says.

Sam blinks at him. “You’re coming?” he asks.

“Should I not?” 

Sam shrugs. “I just figured, it wouldn’t be your thing. You know, on account of…”

“I’ve been drinkin’ mostly from bags too, since I left,” Benny says when Sam trails off. “An’ I can switch entirely now. Doesn’t taste as good, doesn’t have the same nutrients. Ya need it more. But it makes ya more comfortable, and I get it. Tell the truth, I’m gettin’ used to not bein’ the complete monster. An’ I kinda like it.”

Sam gives him another smile for that, and if Benny wasn’t sold on bagged blood before, he certainly is now. Sam’s smile could sell just about anything.

“Let’s go, then,” Sam says. “I’m kinda…”

 _Thirsty_ , Benny’s brain finishes, even if Sam doesn’t want to say it. He forgets that Sam is young, not in as strict control yet. He wonders when the last time Sam grabbed some blood was. “Yeah,” he says. “Let’s get dressed.”

Then Sam goes and wastes what precious blood he has, blushing when he realizes he’s practically half-naked in front of Benny. Benny can’t help but find it adorable.

* * *

They make it to the blood bank, and Sam sneaks in around the back with practiced ease. For the most part, Benny just stands by as a passive observer. He at least carries the cooler, just so he doesn’t feel entirely useless in this endeavor.

Sam fills it quickly and efficiently, and then they’re out the door again in a matter of moments. “That was easy,” Benny remarks.

Sam nods. “Easier than capturing yachts, that’s for sure.”

Benny has to give him that one. “Yeah,” he agrees.

He ends up carrying the cooler back to the motel, Sam making no offer to take it from him. Finally, he can set the weight–which, after the fourth mile or so, starts to get annoying even to a vampire–down on the rickety little table. As soon as the door’s shut, Sam grabs a bag and tears into it.

He makes a bit of a mess of it, getting a good amount on his face, staining his chin red, even as his throat works greedily to finish off the bag. Benny planned to grab a bag of his own, but he can’t turn away from the display.

“You got…some…” he trails off, then licks one finger, wetting the tip so he can use it to get a droplet clinging to Sam’s chin. He rubs for a moment before giving up and getting a towel, wetting it and gently cleaning Sam’s face.

“Thanks,” Sam says quietly.

“No problem,” Benny says, taking Sam’s chin in his hand so he can tilt his head and make sure he got it all.

That apparently crosses one of Sam’s lines, and he jerks away slightly. Benny lets go instantly. “Don’t read more into this than it is,” Sam cautions.

Benny nods. “Whatever you wanna give,” he says.

Sam gives him another smile for that. Benny can’t help but smile back.


	10. Chapter 10

They settle into a routine. They sleep, they move, they take blood. 

Sometimes, they kiss, but they never go much further. Mates want to touch, and Benny’s no exception. He doesn’t think Sam is either, not really. He always seems calmer, centered somehow, like the world has just then made a certain sort of sense, whenever they’re touching, as long as it’s within the rules he’s set out.

Sam likes his hand held and his back rubbed, likes mostly chaste kisses and long hugs. He bumps knees when they sit side-by-side, and, after a few weeks, he lets Benny play with his hair and seems to like that a lot too. All of which are things Benny is growing to like very much himself. There’s nothing better than touching Sam, except of course making him smile, and Benny’s learned all the ways to touch him just right to draw that smile out.

They’re up in Illinois now, of all places, and Benny’s never been here before, never seen this. Sam doesn’t look like anything phases him.

“You been here?” Benny asks, just like he does at every stop.

Sam shrugs. “No. Once you’ve seen one, though…”

Benny doesn’t get that thinking, but new places don’t bother Sam. New experiences don’t seem to much, either.

“What’s here?” Benny asks. Always the second question. Because there’s not always a blood bank nearby. Sam seems to only look for those every fourth, maybe fifth stop, when he’s running out and about to go hungry if he doesn’t get more. The intermittent stops seem to be without rhyme or reason.

Sam smiles, just like he does every time. “Guess we’ll find out.”

What’s there is another crappy motel in a long line of them. It’s their thirtieth, Benny knows. It’s been four months, thirty locations, and not knowing what’s next.

Sam lies back on his bed–closest to the door, always, not much room between him and bolting, and Benny wishes Sam still didn’t feel like running might be a necessity–and closes his eyes.

Benny clears his throat unnecessarily as he sits on his own. “Sam, what’re you hopin’ to find?” he asks finally, the question he’s had for months.

Sam doesn’t open his eyes, just shrugs. “Somewhere.”

“Where?”

He opens his eyes. “I don’t know, Benny,” he says. “Somewhere.”

“Well, what’re you lookin’ for, in this place?” Benny persists. He has to know. Four months of just following Sam is all well and good, he’d follow Sam anywhere, but Sam is headed towards something, looking, and Benny has no idea what. He wants to be a part of this, if for no other reason than Sam is.

Sam sighs. “Home,” he says reluctantly after a moment, his eyes flashing a daring challenge as he looks up at Benny briefly. “Is it really so weird? Your– _Maker–_ took away mine. I know very well I can’t go back, that all that’s gone. And you’re right, I’m a defective vampire, I don’t feel Nest right. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want a place–”

Benny gets it. He vividly gets it. He remembers the pain of knowing he can’t go home to his wife, to his babies–three of them, and they must be so grown up now, if they made it without their father, and he tries not to wonder if they even think of him–and wonders what Sam left behind.

He only hesitates a moment. “Tell me,” he requests. “Tell me ‘bout your home. What ya lost.”

Sam looks up at him then, eyes still judging but they immediately shift to something so sadly, startlingly _grateful_  that Benny is a little taken aback. He swallows.

“A-alright,” Sam says. He takes a deep breath, then begins. “It was just me, and my brother–”

Benny thinks they broke through something today. He doesn’t know what tomorrow will bring–more searching, probably–but he can saw almost positively that things will be different, better, now.


	11. Chapter 11

The idea of _hunters_  leaves Benny reeling. _Hunters._  Humans who kill things like him. Benny never even knew that was a thing. Shows how sheltered the Maker kept them, he supposes, although that’s getting off the point.

“You…kill…” Benny begins.

“Not lately,” Sam points out. “Not even so much before…well, before. We _did_ , but then Dean knocked Lisa up and she had Ben and Dean didn’t want his kid to end up like us, like Dad, or whoever. So he left, and I followed him. We would hunt locally. Wherever locally was. Dean got jumpy when things got too close to his family, and we’d move along. We finally settled in Missouri. Well. A monster got me, so they probably moved on.”

“You were looking for us?” Benny demands, feeling sick. He doesn’t know why. It’s not a secret that Sam hates them all, and he supposes that that just makes more sense now. They’re not the monsters who just took over his life, they’re the monsters he was raised to hate. Benny gets that. But the idea that Sam came looking on purpose, to kill them…

“No,” Sam says slowly. “You don’t hunt vampires alone. Or you end up like me, or dead, body empty of blood. I was looking for a job.”

“A job?” Benny asks, half numb, half incredulous. 

“Yeah, a job,” Sam says. “We have day jobs, you know. Or I did, before we left Indiana. I needed something in Missouri, so I could bring something home to Dean and Lisa. I mean, helping Ben with his homework is well and good, but he’s seven. It’s first grade math, not a full-time job. I was night guard at some fancy marina. It was a trial run, my first night. Just wanted to start being able to pull my weight again.” He sighs. “Dean either thinks I bailed, or that something got me.”

“Is he lookin’?” Benny asks, dread creeping up. A hunter. A hunter who, according to Sam, is damn good, and, perhaps more importantly, knows everything about Sam.

Sam shrugs. “Who knows? Maybe. He has a–he’s loyal. But to his family, too. I hope he doesn’t leave them for something as stupid as this.” Sam smiles wryly. “Not to mention, he’ll chop our heads off if he finds us.”

Benny’s unnecessary, practically useless stomach feels like it’s tying itself in knots. “We drink bags…”

Sam’s smile hasn’t disappeared. Benny usually loves Sam’s smiles, but, then again, he’s never been forced to see this one before. It makes him feel infinitely worse. “Dean tends to see things black and white,” Sam says. “We drink blood. Monsters are monsters are monsters.”

Benny swears. “Ya can’t go back.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Sam says. “I thought, maybe I’d get control of this. Maybe I could go home, if I could find them again, pretend. But Dean would see through me. He always does. And I can’t put them in danger. Especially Ben. That _would_  be a monstrous thing to do,” he says, lip quirking again.

Benny takes a deep breath, and then nots. He knows Sam doesn’t want to talk about it more. He doesn’t either, really. Other than knowing that Sam has a brother who wouldn’t be too troubled by chopping their heads off, he doesn’t need to know anymore, not right this minute.

Some day, he will, he supposes. But for now, it’s enough.

“Alright,” he says. “So, for now, we search for somewhere?”

Sam still hasn’t said what he’s looking for, but Benny is starting to get it, now. Something that fills the hole of what he can’t go back to. Some place that feels just as much as home.

He wishes he were that for Sam. Maybe someday, he thinks.

Sam nods, and Benny nods back. At least they’re on the same page now.


	12. Chapter 12

It’s been eighteen months since Benny met Sam, six months since they started traveling together. Sam’s still moving them every few days.

When they get to their new town, Benny lets Sam check them in and set their things down, then pulls him outside by the hand. “Look ‘round,” he says, leading Sam through the grungy parking lot and into town. Past the motel gate, it gets cleaner and significantly nice. “See what’s here.”

Sam looks annoyed. “What’re you doing?”

Benny runs his thumb over Sam’s knuckles. “Do ya trust me, _Cher?”_ Benny asks seriously.

Sam doesn’t hesitate, Benny is incredibly pleased to see. He just nods.

“Then trust me. Lemme show ya somethin’.”

“Have you ever been here before?” Sam asks, reversing the usual question that Benny asks every stop they hit.

Benny shakes his head. “’Course not. Ya know where I’ve been. This is too far North.”

“Then where’re we going?” Sam asks. 

“Shush,” Benny says. “Lemme show you the world for five minutes. It’s my turn.”

Sam opens his mouth but seems to change his mind, closing it and letting Benny have his way.

Benny leads Sam around the small New England town. He’s never been to New England before Sam, never even crossed the Mason-Dixie line. But here he is, wandering around Connecticut. The leaves are changing.

He walks slowly past the common and the library, the town hall and what Benny thinks must be a poorly marked elementary school. There’s little rock fences and white pickets, lined up mis-matched mailboxes on the sides of the roads.

“Benny,” Sam says after thirty minutes, “I’m gonna need an explanation eventually.”

“Ever think anymore ‘bout this home idea of yours?” Benny asks.

Sam blinks at him. “Always.”

“Ya said you’d know it when you saw it.”

“Yeah.”

“Ya ever gonna know anything if ya don’t look?” Benny asks.

Sam swallows. “Looking to settle down, Benny?”

“Yes,” Benny says honestly. “Think ‘bout it. You an’ me. Happy. Just us, in our place, living our lives. Maybe even knowin’ the community.”

“We’d have to sort out the blood issue,” Sam warns.

Benny shrugs. “Enough cities we could make a run. Stock up. No worries.”

“We’d have to hide ourselves from the locals. Every moment of every day. We never could slip.”

Benny shrugs again. “We’ll live isolated. Farm, maybe.”

Sam just stares at him. “You really want a home.”

“I want us to have a home,” Benny corrects. Then, “don’t you?”

Sam takes a deep, shaky breath. “Yeah,” he admits. “I…that’s the goal, right?”

Benny grins and squeezes Sam’s hand. “Then let’s find one,” he says. “A place for just us. To be. Together. C’mon. At least look.”

Sam looks on the rest of their walk. Benny doesn’t know where they’ll end up, doesn’t know if it’ll be here or California or Texas, but wherever, he knows it’ll happen. A place, a _home_ , for the two of them.

Imagine that, he thinks.


	13. Chapter 13

Sam insists on one more side road trip before they start really looking for a place to stay. “I promise,” he says. “Last one. I just need to do this.”

“I’m with you wherever,” Benny promises, because he wants their little farm house and whatever else they end up with, but the last thing he wants is to slow Sam down, stop him.

“Last one,” Sam repeats, again and again.

They end up in Missouri, and Benny has a creeping sense of dread. He knows where Sam started this journey.

Sam parks their piece of shit car across from some house, and rolls the window down enough to get a sniff. “They’re still here,” he says softly, then pulls away.

Not too far, just far enough that they’re not sitting right across the street. Benny looks at the little house. Predictable, he thinks. A family home. There’s a white picket fence, even. Sports gear leaning against the garage.

“What’re we doing here, Sam?” Benny asks.

“See that car?” Sam asks, gesturing to the old hunk of junk sitting in the driveway. “That’s where I grew up.”

“Well, it’s got style,” Benny tries, completely lost on what to say.

Sam grins. “Yeah, it does,” he says. “Beats a minivan.” He sighs. “I’ve never had a home, Benny. Dean and I tried to make a few, and this place was our last attempt, and I…guess I needed to say goodbye.”

Benny squeezes Sam’s shoulder. “Take as long as you need.”

Sam laughs darkly. “We’re gonna leave fast. Being in the same town as Dean is stupid. He might not be able to sense like we can, but I swear…” He shakes his head. “Dean is dangerous. To us.”

A truck pulls up then. Sam’s eyes seem glued to it, so Benny can only assume it’s Dean in the driver’s seat, and the young boy next to him is Ben. Sam’s breath catches.

Dean either can feel the eyes on him or he’s just paranoid enough to recognize the unfamiliar car on the street. “Come on,” Sam murmurs thickly, voice full of unshed tears, as he restarts the engine.

Dean’s eyes are still following them, brow furrowed. He drops Ben off and drives off again, following them.

Sam floors it, driving more evasively then Benny’s ever seen, going down side roads and turning back around.

“Think we lost him,” Benny murmurs.

Sam heaves a breath. “I…so fucking stupid,” he says. “Dean doesn’t drop hunts, and if he thinks we’re a threat to his family…”

“We’re away,” Benny soothes.

Sam gets a determined look on his face. “Not yet,” he says, and he turns his focus to the road. “Wherever we go, it needs to be safe,” he says.

Benny knows he shouldn’t, not at this juncture, but somehow he still feels filled with warmth, listening to Sam say that they’re going somewhere. Definitely. Together.


	14. Chapter 14

* * *

Sam doesn’t stop for seven hours, and then he checks into a motel under a false name and pays cash. It’s the worst dump they’ve stayed at in ages.

Sam shrugs. “Just for a few hours,” he says. “Then we’ll keep going.”

“North, then?” Benny asks.

“North,” Sam agrees. “Put some distance between ourselves and the past.”

“Alright,” Benny agrees, because he doesn’t much care where he goes as long as Sam goes there too, and they have a little place just for them. “C'mon, Cher, come get some sleep. Just sleep, Cher, c'mere, lemme hold you, you’re all tense, need to relax…”

Sam sighs and nods. “For a few hours,” he concedes.

Benny smiles. “All you need,” he says. “C'mere.”

The door bursts open just as they’re lying down to bed. They’re on their feet in an instant, but it’s not quick enough.

It’s Dean in the doorway, gun ready, and even if guns aren’t long-term solutions against vampires, Benny has to admit that Sam’s brother still looks incredibly intimidating when aiming one at him.

“So help me, you sons of bitches, you stay the fuck away from my son,” Dean hisses.

Sam holds up both hands in front of him, a gesture of peace. “Dean,” he says.

Dean freezes. “Sam?” He asks, voice unsure now, unsteady, but the gun remaining pointed at Benny.

Sam nods. “It’s me. You know me. I would…I would never hurt Ben. Not in a million years. Over my dead body.”

“Where the hell have you been, then?” Dean demands. “You have any idea, how long we looked? And…who the hell is this guy?”

“This is Benny,” Sam says, moving slowly so he’s between the gun and Benny, and Benny wants to shout, wants to stop him even as he knows the bullet can’t technically kill either of them. “He saved me, Dean.”

“Why didn’t you come home?” Dean demands.

Sam takes a deep, shaky breath. “I think you know why,” he says.

Dean’s eyes narrow. “What are you?”

Benny wonders if this is it. They can take Dean, when he’s armed with just a gun, no machete, no dead man’s blood. But Sam won’t. Sam won’t hurt his brother, not even to get away, to save them.

“Vampires,” Sam admits. Dean’s hand on the gun is shaky now. “We don’t drink people, Dean. Bagged blood works, we just take the stuff they have in surplus, move on, it works. We don’t hurt anyone.”

“Monsters hurt people,” Dean says lowly. “Monsters are…are a threat to us. To my family. To my son.”

Suddenly, Sam moves. Moves like a vampire, Benny thinks, incredibly fast and stronger than normal humans. He doesn’t usually use his abilities like that, usually likes to pretend he’s almost human, but he does. Dean’s gun is gone, and he has Dean pinned.

“We don’t hurt people,” Sam says. “And I would die before hurting your son. I love him too.”

“Monsters can’t love,” Dean says, voice muffled from the bed Sam’s pushed him into.

Sam laughs dryly. “Well, that’s where you’re wrong,” he says. He turns his head to Benny, who’s still pretty shocked at what he’s seen. “Give me the curtain sash or something.”

He gets Dean tied, and it probably won’t hold long, but it’s enough for them to get out without hurting Dean. “Don’t follow us, Dean,” Sam says. “I came by today to say goodbye, and I’ll stay away if that’s what you need. We won’t hurt you. You don’t need to hurt us.”

They’re in the car two minutes later, back on the road, Sam’s grip on the steering wheel a bruising tight. “He won’t let up,” he says.

“Think he’ll kill us?” Benny asks.

“I…I don’t know,” Sam says. “He might try. Maybe he’ll be satisfied, seeing that we don’t…that we’re not like other vampires. Either way. I want to put a lot of distance down. Pick a direction.”

“West,” Benny says, suddenly assured that that is the place for them to go.


End file.
